Happy new year to you all.Please I
have this issue that is eating me up,it's a bit long and I need serious
advice. I'm at crossroads and I don't know where to turn. I'm 25 and my
boyfriend is in his mid thirties.we've been together for almost three
years now.
Firstly
I want to highlight my man's good sides- he's very open with me(as in I
know how much he's worth till the last kobo,although he's still a
hustler and doesnt have much but he hides nothing from me), he's
faithful(I can pick his calls , check his messages,his phone doesn't
have a password around me and I know men like dat are very hard to come
by), thirdly his mum is very nice and she doesn't seem like the type
that will give me any issues in future..
My man
seems to really love me because he wants us to be together all the time,
it's even me that sometimes get tired of his company and crave some
fresh air.He is not a very romantic and thotful person though but he is
okay..
Now to
my issues with him- As our relationship progressed, I discovered he has a
short temper. As in sometimes when he gets angry, he will just become
so unreasonable and it usually takes a third party to come settle issues
between us. Although he has never laid hands on me, he has broken and
slammed things and objects in anger when we get into heated arguments.He
usually blames that on me, that I know he has a bit of a temper and I
should always keep quiet when I see he's getting upset but I challenge
him always.
Secondly
the issue of finances, he's not a graduate( he left school way
back,half way to hustle and fend for himself) and he hasn't returned to
school since then. I am a graduate and I had to lie to my mum that he's a
graduate as well because I know that my mum might disapprove. I
planned that I will encourage him to go back to school with time but I
have realized that might not be visible because he's almost thirty five
and plans to make money is all he keeps talking about. Lastly, we have
other little incompatibilities that drives me crazy at times e.g he's a
big talker, he likes to talk and be the center of attention anywhere we
go..you know all this kind of people that will enter one place and
everybody will know he is around. Sometimes I just want my man to be
reserved and mysterious but with him, no way!
We are
basically from different backgrounds and that side of our relationship
shows sometimes, he's also quite controlling but I thot it's because of
the age difference,infact my social life has changed since I've been
with him (i dont see or hang out with my friends as much as I used
to)..He's talking marriage now and he talks about all the great plans he
has and how his family can never suffer but right now, he doesn't have a
steady source of income although he does some small side bizness here
and dere that brings money and sometimes he will be broke and I will
understand...But it's not constant, it's more random..I know in life,
money can just come at anytime, like he can hammer at anytime
( that's his mentality anyways but not me, am still worried).
Am
really confused because I love him, we have amazing physical chemistry
that I've not really had with anyone else and the fact that he's not a
cheat but I don't know what and what is most important when it comes to
marriage.He is this "happy go lucky", don't stress about
tomorrow,tomorrow will take care of itself type of person but me, am
more of a "fail to plan, plan to fail type of person. I know he's only
being optimistic but hmmm, I just don't know. His good sides and bad
sides are causing serious conflict in my heart ...marriage is a life
time contract and I have always had serious cold feet about marriage
because my parents had a bad one( courtesy of my dad) and it didn't only
affect my mum negatively, it shaped the lifes of we, the kids as
well..i want better for my own kids. Although my man and I are close and
I love him very much but I don't want my heart to mislead me. I don't
know if this is right for me . Please what do I look out for? Can this
man be a good choice ? All my sisters and brothers in the house, advice
me please ..Thank you very much and God bless
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